Hmm. Funny.

That is not funny.

  1. Being bilingual and switching to the other language when I’m saying something bad.
  2. I don't use AI to write my jokes, but I do know a laptop that would be very upset if it heard me say that.
  3. So California is working on a law to require age verification on all operating systems... Yikes. Good thing I moved all my linux instances from us-west-1 to Bahrain last week! [Iran war joke]
  4. Taking my daughter to therapy so I can sit in the parking lot and lose at chess for 50 minutes.
  5. Giving my kids all the bad news right before therapy so they can trauma dump effectively.
  6. My son was talking about 420 and I was worried he was smoking pot but really he was just making fun of my Elo.
  7. Pictures of the kids in parent portal getting progressively more and more unhappy. Hopefully they turn the corner before they join the worst portal... linkedin.
  8. Collecting watches is a waste of money, make a joke about that somehow. The hobby is just spending money. And I'm still late to everything so it didn't even help that.
  9. Keeping blender thing and the attachments in separate drawers like it’s a firearm. We can host the playdate! No accidental smoothies on my watch. You want a healthy snack? Here's a loaded .22, go take care of the fucking groundhog that keeps eating our blueberry bush.