Unethical Life Pro Tips
Carefully curated from some terrible website
General
| ID | Pro tip | Difficulty level |
|---|---|---|
| 0001 | Piss disc (pee on plate, freeze it, deliver under door or throw like frisbee) | Medium |
| 0002 | Liquid ass (prank product) | Easy |
| 0003 | Sleep with someone important to them (parents usually) | Hard |
| 0004 | Motion activated sprinkles. | Easy |
| 0005 | Baby shark on repeat. | Easy |
| 0006 | Call the police you saw a gun/heavy drug use. | Easy |
| 0007 | Put a sock on your baseball bat before assaulting someone, so if they grab it they only get the sock. | Extreme |
| 0008 | Bake them a cake with goose shit. Not so much goose shit that it's obvious. Just enough that they might still eat it all and get moderately sick. | Medium |
| 0009 | Tell her how arousing her antics are. | Easy |
| 0010 | Good idea to invest in air horns | Easy |
| 0011 | Get a water balloon and fill it with piss. Freeze this. Then get a potato cannon and chuck your frozen piss bomb in it and shoot it at thing. Hopefully it hits it and shatters, then melts breaking the thing and it'll smell like piss. | Hard |
| 0012 | Find her pastor and tell them what's going on. | Easy |
Unwanted contact
| ID | Pro tip | Difficulty level |
|---|---|---|
| 0013 | Contact the church of scientology pretending to be him and give them all of his information. Do it with every cult you an find. Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses. MLM schemes. Everybody. | Medium |
| 0014 | NAMBLA signup. | Easy |
| 0015 | Put their phone number and email into lending tree (immediately receive 4-5 calls) | Easy |
Home improvement
| ID | Pro tip | Difficulty level |
|---|---|---|
| 0016 | Milk injection (Inject milk into furniture) | Medium |
| 0017 | “The Pilk” (piss and milk combo, for special cases only) | Medium |
| 0018 | Instant mashed potatoes on yard. | Easy |
| 0019 | Mulch delivery | Easy |
| 0020 | Brick through window. | Hard |
| 0021 | Pour a bunch of salt in their fertilizer. All their plants and yard will die. | Easy |
Car stuff
| ID | Pro tip | Difficulty level |
|---|---|---|
| 0022 | Flat tires | Easy |
| 0023 | Brake fluid makes car paint fall off. A small spritzer bottle with brake fluid is good to have with you in case you walk by a car that has paint on it. | Medium |
| 0024 | Diesel exhaust fluid (get at autozone or similar) in regular gas tank. | Medium |
| 0025 | iron bars from hardware store. Lay them out in the middle of the road. People going a normal speed will just roll right over them while speeders will pick them up and fuck up their wheels. | Hard |
| 0026 | Capacisin oil spray on car door handle. | Easy |
| 0027 | You and your neighbors start parking on the street, both sides, so it creates a bottleneck. | Medium |
| 0028 | ride on your bike with a dozen phones with Waze on to simulate traffic jam | Medium |
| 0029 | Lipstick on the windows covered with duct tape. | Easy |
| 0030 | Pay someone to shit on his car handle 3 days a week for 2 years | Extreme |
| 0031 | Buy a pack of stick on wheel balancing weights. Stick them on. Give them a gift they can really feel. | Easy |
| 0032 | Put a bike lock on a rim. | Easy |
| 0033 | I just throw food on the car and let the birds do the rest. | Easy |
| 0034 | To get a car to stop tailgating you. I take that opportunity to clean my windshield with the washer fluid button. The expensive car behind me HATES getting my dirty normal person car juice on them and always backs off. | Easy |
| 0035 | Tailgate - I drive on the shoulder a little bit kicking up rocks (common CDL tactic) | Medium |
| 0036 | letting air out of their tires and supergluing the caps on. | Medium |
| 0037 | "Skin-Tac" wiped on the door handle. That will gunk up the hand and be a huge hassle to get off. | Easy |
| 0038 | A pair of side cutters will snip valve stems super easy, and the tyre won't explode. Do at least two. | Medium |
| 0039 | Tire stem core removal tool is a thing. | Medium |
| 0040 | Caltrops | Hard |
| 0041 | Build a snowman effigy of her directly next to your car complete with unflattering oversized bra and wig and a name sign to make sure she doesn't miss the point In order to park right next to your car (where the snow man effigy is), she will have to drive over herself. Bonus If you set up motion sensor camera trained on the snow man that is set to ear shattering screams of a woman or child so others witness her. | Extreme |
| 0042 | Loosen the oil drain plug so it will leak the oil out or loosen the oil filter, but that's not always possible. | Medium |
| 0043 | Loosen the drain on the radiator so all of the coolant will leak out. | Medium |
| 0044 | If you can get into the car, fill it with balloons and change the interface language to French or something | Medium |
| 0045 | Fake parking tickets | Easy |
To avoid getting caught
| ID | Pro tip | Difficulty level |
|---|---|---|
| 0046 | Wear shoes different size than your own | Easy |
| 0047 | Glove with six fingers (AI) | Medium |
| 0048 | Other prosthetics | Medium |
| 0049 | Leave your phone at home with netflix open playing a movie | Easy |
| 0050 | Dress up as three raccoons wearing a trench coat | Hard |
| 0051 | Pay in cash, wear a mask (like the covid ones), consider sunglasses or a hat as well. Don't keep the receipt. | Easy |
| 0052 | Avoid usual routes getting to and from. | Easy |
| 0053 | Get a fake tattoo in an obvious place while you cover everything else on your body like wear a mask, a hat and glasses and leave your arm exposed with this fake removable tattoo. | Medium |
| 0054 | put the horseshoes on backwards so it looks like your horse is going the opposite direction. | Easy |
| 0055 | Really? Put horseshoes on backward? This is modern times, you have to put your tires on backward now. | Easy |
| 0056 | To save time, instead of reversing the tires, I just drive backwards, in a rear wheel drive sedan. | Extreme |
| 0057 | Skinny people should also wear multiple bulky layers to change the shape and silhouette of their body. | Easy |
| 0058 | Some law enforcement has also narrowed down who they're looking at based on body movements, gait, and posture. So do the fremen walk thing. | Medium |
| 0059 | Add 1/2" or larger inlays in the heel area of your shoes. That will change the stride enough to be unrecognisable as your stride. | Medium |
| 0060 | Most people subconsciously move very rigidly, or very fluidly. Becoming aware of this and practicing switching between the two can be very useful. | Medium |
| 0061 | Drive carefully and follow the traffic laws. | Easy |
| 0062 | Place piss disks on any CCTV cameras about 30 minutes before your crime. This will give the disks sufficient time to melt and ruin the cameras. Nobody will want to fix the pissy cameras. | Medium |
| 0063 | Invisibility cloak. | Extreme |
| 0064 | What about disguising yourself as one of them food delivery robots? | Hard |
| 0065 | Call them pretending to be a next of kin and tell them that you died. | Easy |